The Dutch Flame

As a highly sensitive person, I often experience the world more intensely than others. Sounds, scents, emotions, and the moods of those around me affect me deeply. This means I need more time to process stimuli, and sometimes my body reacts with an indescribable sense of restlessness.

And now I’m having one of those days… one of those moments. Sometimes it lasts only briefly; other times, it lingers for days. It feels as though my body is stuck in a perpetual state of unease. A tension settles into my muscles, especially in my shoulders and neck. My jaw feels tight, often leading to tension headaches. Sitting still is nearly impossible, and my breathing verges on hyperventilation. This physical restlessness seems detached from my thoughts and emotions, though at times, without a clear reason, it spills over into tears.

Falling asleep becomes difficult, my concentration fades, and my productivity declines. I struggle to process stimuli. I recognize that this tension resides within my body, but I also notice that I handle certain situations—both in my personal life and at work—less effectively. Balancing this overwhelming restlessness with professional responsibilities can be challenging. Expectations remain, and that’s undeniable. Ultimately, it is up to me to regain a sense of calm. That responsibility lies with me—no one else.

In this state of restlessness, the world can sometimes appear overwhelmingly negative. I momentarily lose sight of what belongs to me and what belongs to others. During these moments, I find it helpful to take a pause and reflect, integrating mindful breathing. I ask myself a few questions based on the Four G’s (event, feeling, thought, and behavior): What actually happened? What was truly said? What emotion am I personally attaching to this? In other words, I try to separate logic from emotion. This practice helps me become more aware of myself and my thoughts.

In my work environment, I often conceal this restlessness—mainly because I feel it is something I must handle alone. I don’t want others to think I am incapable of doing my job or that I am weak. However, hiding these feelings consumes an immense amount of energy, sometimes only making the restlessness worse. It feels like a constant battle to maintain emotional control while remaining professional.

When I notice muscle tension in my shoulders and neck or feel the onset of a headache, I begin by focusing on intentional breathing. Deep breaths help release the tension. Even a simple diaphragmatic breathing exercise can bring relief. Sometimes, I step away for a moment, finding a quiet space like a restroom to reset my breath. At home, I lie down and focus solely on my breathing.

The silent carriage on the train is an ideal place for brief relaxation. If that’s not enough, a walk helps tremendously. The fresh air and the rhythmic focus on my breath bring a sense of calm. At home, I take the dogs outside, and at work, I try to step outside for ten minutes whenever possible. These small efforts help reduce tension and restore balance.

This is my way of coping with high sensitivity and restlessness. It is an ongoing journey, but I know I have the strength to return to a place of peace.