The Dutch Flame

Welcome to my blog! I’m Carla—a foodie, traveler, and bon vivant. Here, I invite you to join me on my personal journey, exploring mindful living, my love for food, travel, and the joy of cooking together.

As a woman who has experienced involuntary childlessness, I’ve learned to embrace life intentionally and appreciate both the small and grand moments. To me, being a bon vivant means consciously choosing what nourishes my energy—whether through unique culinary experiences, meaningful travels, or treasured everyday moments. Through my insights, I hope to inspire other childless women to navigate their own paths with confidence and joy. Feel free to reach out if you’d like to connect!

My Journey: From Loss to Self-Acceptance to Bon Vivant

“The journey to Accepting Involuntary Childlessness”

My journey of self-discovery has been profoundly shaped by involuntary childlessness. It was a long, challenging road filled with hope, disappointment, grief, mourning, loneliness, and, ultimately, acceptance.

Our fertility journey was marked by countless medical examinations and treatments. Each step carried fresh hope, but also the lingering fear of loss. The emotional rollercoaster of hope and heartbreak was exhausting, leaving me feeling isolated despite the support of my husband, chosen family, and dear friends.

Through this experience, I discovered resilience and an inner strength I never knew existed. My heightened sensitivity made processing emotions difficult, but in time, it also deepened my understanding of both myself and others.

Love and support—first from my husband, and later from our dogs—became a steady source of comfort. Their unwavering presence carried me through the darkest days, offering reassurance beyond words

Eventually, my husband and I had to confront reality: the painful acceptance that we would not have children. While it was an incredibly difficult process, it also brought a sense of peace. I came to understand that my worth, and my ability to give love, were not defined by motherhood

Redirecting my energy toward meaningful work and helping others became my purpose. By sharing my journey, I hope to inspire and encourage others to navigate their own challenges with hope and strength. If you’d like to learn more about my lectures—each one rooted in lived experience—please don’t hesitate to reach out.